Monday, May 29, 2017

            Sometimes when you least expect it, life answers a question and shares a lesson. Over the years, we’ve noticed that in our part of the world, there often seems to be a game of tag going on between a big crow and a much smaller bird. Thinking along the lines of playful fun, we’ve often wondered what was going on. The two almost seem to be enjoying the flight, but we fully recognize that fun is probably not the explanation for the event. This week, the answer became quite clear in a startling and educational way. Please keep in mind that your newsletter editors are 1) a city boy and 2) a beach bum. The city boy grew up without much exposure to the comings and goings of critters in the wild, although pigeons and squirrels technically count. The beach bum grew up among all types of marsh animals from toads to turtles to shellfish and sea birds of many varieties. But certain things were missing. For example, when I (Deb) arrived at college, I was astounded to discover that squirrels could cross the street on the electrical wires! My classmates must have thought something was wrong with me, but the ecosystem on my barrier island didn’t allow for enough trees to accommodate a thriving squirrel population, so this little trick was new and quite fascinating to me.
            The sight of a big bird being chased all over the sky by a little one, was also intriguing. Life experience suggested that this had something to do with survival, and this week that hypothesis was confirmed. Out early in the morning to walk the dog, I saw a tiny little bird chasing a huge crow. The crow landed on top of the utility pole just in front of us. The small bird continued to circle. That’s just about when the crow dropped the fledgling bird it had been carrying onto the top of the pole and gave it a peck or two. Suddenly, a gang of about six to ten little birds came into view, flying straight at the crow. They distracted the crow just long enough to let the fledgling fly (sort of) off the pole. It more or less swooped into a neighboring tree, and as it landed among the branches the little birds all stopped their attack and flew to the baby. Presumably the mother bird was the first to get there. The crow flew off without breakfast, and one can only guess the fate of the slightly pecked at baby bird.
            We’ve lived long enough to know that nature can be harsh and unkind, especially to the very young and the very old. In a storybook world, the crow and the baby bird could be friends, but that’s just in stories. The crow was hungry. The fledgling bird was an easy breakfast, and nature does what nature’s going to do. There is no prognosis possible for a slightly pecked fledgling. For all we know it was injured beyond the possibility of recovery. Maybe the other birds of its community would have been kinder to just let the crow finish what it started as quickly as possible. These are questions we can only ask, but never answer. Still to see the fight for survival unfold so unexpectedly and so close up was startling nonetheless.

But, this little encounter also illustrates what we humans often tend to forget. When communities come together, there is a greater chance for our young to grow up healthy and the elderly to be well cared for. Whether that sense of community comes from a family, a neighborhood, a faith community, or a professional association, it turns out we humans aren’t that much different from our friends in the animal world. The more we stick together, the better off we are and the more likely we are to feel protected and safe when the predators appear. At least, that’s the way it looks from where we sit. 

Life Lessons from Birds



Sometimes when you least expect it, life answers a question and shares a lesson. Over the years, we’ve noticed that in our part of the world, there often seems to be a game of tag going on between a big crow and a much smaller bird. Thinking along the lines of playful fun, we’ve often wondered what was going on. The two almost seem to be enjoying the flight, but we fully recognize that fun is probably not the explanation for the event. This week, the answer became quite clear in a startling and educational way. Please keep in mind that your newsletter editors are 1) a city boy and 2) a beach bum. The city boy grew up without much exposure to the comings and goings of critters in the wild, although pigeons and squirrels technically count. The beach bum grew up among all types of marsh animals from toads to turtles to shellfish and sea birds of many varieties. But certain things were missing. For example, when I (Deb) arrived at college, I was astounded to discover that squirrels could cross the street on the electrical wires! My classmates must have thought something was wrong with me, but the ecosystem on my barrier island didn’t allow for enough trees to accommodate a thriving squirrel population, so this little trick was new and quite fascinating to me.
            The sight of a big bird being chased all over the sky by a little one, was also intriguing. Life experience suggested that this had something to do with survival, and this week that hypothesis was confirmed. Out early in the morning to walk the dog, I saw a tiny little bird chasing a huge crow. The crow landed on top of the utility pole just in front of us. The small bird continued to circle. That’s just about when the crow dropped the fledgling bird it had been carrying onto the top of the pole and gave it a peck or two. Suddenly, a gang of about six to ten little birds came into view, flying straight at the crow. They distracted the crow just long enough to let the fledgling fly (sort of) off the pole. It more or less swooped into a neighboring tree, and as it landed among the branches the little birds all stopped their attack and flew to the baby. Presumably the mother bird was the first to get there. The crow flew off without breakfast, and one can only guess the fate of the slightly pecked at baby bird.
            We’ve lived long enough to know that nature can be harsh and unkind, especially to the very young and the very old. In a storybook world, the crow and the baby bird could be friends, but that’s just in stories. The crow was hungry. The fledgling bird was an easy breakfast, and nature does what nature’s going to do. There is no prognosis possible for a slightly pecked fledgling. For all we know it was injured beyond the possibility of recovery. Maybe the other birds of its community would have been kinder to just let the crow finish what it started as quickly as possible. These are questions we can only ask, but never answer. Still to see the fight for survival unfold so unexpectedly and so close up was startling nonetheless.
But, this little encounter also illustrates what we humans often tend to forget. When communities come together, there is a greater chance for our young to grow up healthy and the elderly to be well cared for. Whether that sense of community comes from a family, a neighborhood, a faith community, or a professional association, it turns out we humans aren’t that much different from our friends in the animal world. The more we stick together, the better off we are and the more likely we are to feel protected and safe when the predators appear. At least, that’s the way it looks from where we sit. 

Thursday, October 20, 2016

When Brad Broke His Hip

                           

“When life gives you lemons…” Well, you, Dear Reader, know how to fill in the rest of this little cliché. After this past crazy month, we’ve come to dislike this particular cliché with a great vengeance. So, why would two writers, devoted to the English language in particular and words in general, have such a passionate response to a common American expression? Read on, please. This is a tale of two perspectives since after all, you’ve got two writers. It’s a tale of a life-disrupting event, a really lousy birthday, and a marriage that is ever-changing and ever strong.

Exactly two weeks ago, Brad took a terrible stumble down our back stairs and landed on the kitchen floor. Deb was out running errands at the time and came home to find Brad upstairs cuddled in our bed in terrible pain. If you’ve been married for any length of time, you’ll recognize what happened next. It was about five hours of negotiation concerning what we should do. While I (Deb) struggled to help him to the bathroom, Brad insisted he’d be better in the morning. That seemed increasingly unlikely, so by 9:00 pm, he lost the debate, and we set out for the hospital. Actually, Brad asked me how I would get him down the stairs, and I replied, “Oh, that’s easy. I’ll call 911.” When the ambulance arrived from down the street, we met a young EMT who used to work at the custard stand with our daughter, when both girls were in high school. It is a dear little town. The crew carefully loaded him into the ambulance, and I followed in the car.

Five hours in the crowded ER hallway passed before we got a cubby and the attention of a doctor. It took very little time to learn that Brad had broken his hip. The doctor cheerily said, “If you’ve got to break a hip, yours is the best break you could hope for!” Okay, Doc, thanks. To move this long story along, we met the surgeon that night, and he put our guy back together with three pins in his hip. This, as it happens, was Brad’s birthday, marked down in the family history as the Worst Birthday Ever. But, with Brad nestled comfortably in his post-op bed, I set out for home, a shower, food, and sleep. It had been a very long 36 hours.

So what makes a strong, healthy, fit man fall down the stairs? Let’s just say I wasn’t surprised. Brad has had a devotion to a crummy pair of slippers that he’s worn far too long and far too hard. I’ve been fulfilling my wifely responsibility of nagging (I mean gently suggesting) that he was going to kill himself on our stairs with those dumb slippers. “Drive over the mountain and for the love of all that is holy, buy a new pair of slippers,” resonates in my memory. So, he met his match and those crummy old slippers did him in. I take no joy in having been right.

Three days in the hospital and then off to the “rehabilitation center,” which is what they call a nursing home when they’re trying so send someone young and injured to a facility that will help him. Brad found himself wandering the halls in the middle of the night surrounded by busy staff and insomniac patients who could easily have been any one of our parents. He found the hubbub of the center reassuring. “Most of the aides, nurses, and therapists really do care about you,” he observed almost right after being admitted. His “roommate” is 85 years old and full of a lifetime of stories that Brad hasn’t heard yet. They’re getting along swimmingly. “Take care of yourselves, keep saving, and think about what you’ll do when you need some help with things in life you’ve always done for yourself,” Brad said. That’s his takeaway.

As for me, I’ve spent more time living all alone these last few weeks than I ever have in my entire life. It’s been okay, easier than I would have thought.  I’ve learned that Brad does a lot more stuff around the house than I’ve been giving him credit for. I’ve also learned that, although I’ve spoiled him pretty well, he is stronger and more resilient than either one of us would have guessed. And so am I. I have the support of our grown kids, and the companionship of our daughter who lives down the street. She actually came over that first dreadful night simply, because she suspected I might need a hug. She was right.

So what about those lemons and that goofy cliché? I have an edited version. “When life gives you lemons, count your blessings!” The doctor was right about the nature of the break. If Brad had broken his hip differently, the recovery would have been twice as long! We live in place where neighbors take care of each other, and some even drive the ambulance. We have a devoted family, and a relationship that has stood the test of time, and gravity. Brad has learned that he’s not as invincible as he once thought, a good lesson in the long run. He’s learned that it’s okay to turn yourself over to strangers who are skilled in the care of those who are injured or infirm. Those are all pretty amazing lessons and a whole basket full of blessings, much better than a pitcher of lemonade, at least that how it looks from where we sit.